Where Else Are You Doing This to Yourself?

Prefer to watch? The video's below. Prefer to read? Keep going — this one's for you either way.

This is usually the part in my social media journey where I give up. Where I stop posting. Where I just disappear.

It's happened before, more than once. I'd record a batch of videos, have fun doing it, schedule them all out — and then tell myself that while they were quietly posting themselves, I'd finally get to my website, my products, my actual life. I wouldn't have to think about social media at all.

And then time would catch up to me. A month gone. Three months gone. I never noticed it happening in real time — only after the fact, looking back at all that empty space where a promise to myself used to be.

The promise I made and quietly broke

Since I've committed to this journey — one video a week for the next six months — I keep reminding myself why. Because you don't get a different result by doing the exact same thing.

And here's what actually scares me about it: it isn't the camera. It's what the scheduling lets me pretend — that I've got it together, that I'm in control, when that's not always true. It's a lot to sit with, watching everyone else's aesthetic feed — the pretty fonts, the perfect kitchen, the curated everything — while wanting my own stuff to be something more than pretty. I want it to have substance. To be something people stay for, not just scroll past.

There's nothing wrong with scheduling content if you're still actually showing up behind it — still recording, still learning something, still present. I'll keep scheduling for that reason. But I won't use it as a place to hide in again.

The pattern I finally named

I once did a 30-day challenge where I recorded every video in a single sitting and scheduled the whole month out at once. It was convenient. It also meant that after the 30 days ended, I disappeared. I didn't know what else to do, so I just... stopped.

I don't want to repeat that. So I'm forcing myself through it, even recording some of this from a hotel room with someone vacuuming the hallway outside. It's not ideal, but I'm doing it anyway.

The question I keep asking myself

One of my favorite quotes is by Einstein, who said insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. I've spent a lot of my life doing exactly that, wondering why nothing changed, without ever asking what I was actually repeating.

This is my wake-up call to myself.

👉 Your turn: where else in your life are you doing the same thing, over and over, quietly hoping this time will be different? Tell me in the comments. Let's cut that out together.