I'm Changing Who I Am to Change What I Get

Prefer to watch? The video's below. Prefer to read? Keep going - this one's for you either way.

I just started reading Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza. I'm not finished yet, and I'm not claiming to be an expert on any of it. But one idea from the book has stuck with me since I picked it up: your personality shapes your personal reality.

The pattern I started noticing

The idea, as I understand it so far, is that how you act determines what you come to expect, and what you expect is what you keep getting.

If you walk around expecting to be overlooked, you act like someone who gets overlooked, and life keeps confirming it. If you expect traffic, rudeness, things falling apart — you find it, or you frame whatever happens to fit that story. Even good things start to feel suspicious, like they can't be trusted to just be good.

I've always leaned toward expecting things to work out easily. And when they didn't, I'd tell myself, "this isn't for me," like ease was proof I was on the right path and difficulty was proof I wasn't. But I don't want to fall into that trap either. Hard work isn't the same as things being difficult. Staying up late to figure something out — that's effort, not a sign to quit.

The experiment I'm running

For Project 180, I've been asking myself a question: what would the version of me who already has this figured out actually do?

Not someone with a hundred thousand followers or a certain income — just someone a few steps further down the road than I am right now. Would she care that her background isn't perfect? Would she let a little rambling stop her from posting? Or would she trust that the message will land with the person it's for, and keep going anyway?

So I'm practicing acting like that version of me on purpose, before I feel fully ready. Expecting that this works out, not because I've already proven it, but because I've decided it will.

Why this matters more than it sounds

This isn't about forcing positivity or pretending everything's fine. It's about noticing that I've been walking around with expectations I never chose on purpose, and realizing I actually get a say in what those are.

I still have a choice in how I show up, what I believe is possible, and what kind of personal reality I'm building, one decision at a time.

I'm ready to change mine.

👉 Your turn: what expectation have you been carrying that you never actually chose?