I Was Tired of Being the One Nobody Noticed

Prefer to watch? The video's below. Prefer to read? Keep going — this one's for you either way.

Have you ever felt the pull to post something, say something, be seen — and then your entire mind, body, and soul just shuts down? Like you're immediately scanning for the nearest exit, wishing you had a cloak of invisibility or something?

This is for the version of you who keeps almost showing up.

The thing I finally admitted to myself

I realized something uncomfortable: every time I hesitate, I'm not just delaying a video. I'm reinforcing the identity of someone who holds back. And that adds up, especially now that I've told myself I'm actually doing this — showing up every week, whether the video is pre-recorded or not, whether I feel ready or not.

I'm not someone who's naturally confident on camera. I've hesitated on making a video for more than five years. And I've committed to the next six months of doing it anyway — to being seen, to speaking up, to not disappearing in a room, which has genuinely happened to me before.

The room I disappeared in

Here's a true story. I was in a meeting once where everyone was going around introducing themselves. And when it got to me — they'd forgotten I was even there. Forgotten to include me in something as basic as introducing myself in the first place.

That wasn't really about the meeting. That was the moment I understood this isn't just about being camera-shy. This is a pattern of fading into the background that's been running through my whole life.

Why I'm not giving myself a pep talk

The shift for me wasn't deciding to feel confident first. It wasn't a girl-boss pep talk convincing myself I've got this. It was simpler and less dramatic than that — just: let's do it anyway. Let's try it, knowing it's going to be messy, and being okay with that anyway.

I'm picking one thing that's been sitting in the back of my mind, putting in my earbuds, hoping the sound quality holds up, and recording it. I already know it won't be perfect. I've made peace with that. So when I look back at a video and it's a disaster, it's not a surprise — it's just part of the process I already agreed to.

What this is actually building

This isn't only about making content. It's about becoming someone who trusts herself. I've wanted to trust my own intuition more for a long time, and this — showing up messy, on purpose, every week — is teaching me exactly how committed I really am to the things I say I want.

There's no version of this where I go from someone who gets forgotten in a meeting straight to someone who can speak in front of a room of a hundred people. I have to go through the unpolished middle to get anywhere at all.

So if you've been wanting to speak up, in any part of your life — in a meeting, in a relationship, out loud instead of silently — I'd take this as your sign. Start messy. Start where you are. There's no other way to get to the other side.

👉 Your turn: where have you been staying quiet, waiting to feel ready before you speak up?