I Don't Need a Good Enough Reason to Choose Myself

Prefer to watch? The video's below. Prefer to read? Keep going — this one's for you either way.

I've been thinking about what actually scares me about being on camera. It's not just not knowing what to say, or not wanting to be seen — even though being seen is exactly how you build community and make friends in the first place. The scariest part is realizing I don't actually have an excuse.

The voice that lists all the reasons

I have a whole set of them, ready to go.

You're just going to ramble. You don't really have a message. You've read all the books, done all the courses, and your life still looks the same — so what's the point? Nobody wants to hear from someone who doesn't practice what they preach. Just give it up. Don't even start.

And for a long time, I let those reasons run the show. I told myself they were true, because surely nobody wants to see my journey. Nobody cares.

Except — we say that about everyone, don't we? I don't actually think that about people I admire. When I found out someone I follow was pregnant, I felt genuinely happy for her, like it mattered to me. She's not perfect. She's just living her life out loud, and people still care. So why did I assume no one would care about mine?

Why I stopped comparing

I started asking myself harder questions. Why can't I just be okay with who I am, right now, without needing to prove I'm just as good as someone else first? Why do I feel like I need something outside of myself to make me enough? Why is it not okay to simply be good with myself, exactly as I am?

I don't have a tidy answer for all of that. But I noticed something: comparing myself to someone with a million subscribers, or to someone who started yesterday, doesn't actually serve any purpose. Neither does being ashamed of where I've been or where I'm going.

What I'm choosing instead

So I'm doing this because I want to. Not because I'm chasing an outcome, not because I've earned the right, not because I've built a strong enough case for myself. I'm just doing it because it's what I've decided.

No lengthy justification. No five-page essay defending why I'm allowed to try. I don't need a good enough reason to not be awkward, to not ramble, to not be a beginner at this. There was never going to be a reason good enough to talk myself out of not doing it, either.

I'm okay with who I am, right now, in the middle of figuring this out. I'm okay with what I'm making. And I don't need to explain why.

👉 Your turn: where are you waiting for a good enough reason before you let yourself choose you?